Thought for Thursday

Please bare with me as I brain dump a few topics, some serious, and others just random tidbits.

I'm feeling fragile today, like I may bust out in crocodile tears of angst at any moment.
I'm not sad, just unsettled.
I feel the love and support of my extended circle of homeys far and wide...and miss them terribly.  
I'm longing for some metalsmithing community, to have a day in the studio with someone else, to talk through things I'm having a hard time with, to explore new techniques, to share the beautiful and magical creative time with a kindred sister or mister.
I'm having a serious and terrible case of "The Wants" this week, from shoes to books, to adventures, to experiences...It's starting to have a negative effect on my mood, time to let it go and focus on something else, (though a little retail therapy sounds wonderful, it's just not going to happen right now).  
It seems as though it is always Friday, not in that the weekend is here, and there is cause for celebration, but more like "holy shit another week has come and gone and I'm still here doing the same stuff, feeling the same feelings, and never getting ahead".  I'm not sure what I'm trying to get ahead of, but whatever it is, I feel like I am behind it...Does that make sense?

This all sounds terribly depressing, which was not my intention...

Another topic has been swirling in my head, and it was so eloquently put by Betsy over at the Betsy and Iya blog.  I fear if I try too hard to explain where my head is at with this, that I will open up a flood of emotions/questions/thoughts/feelings, that I'm not quite prepared to elaborate on with too much detail here...mostly because I don't want to give any more fuel to it's fire, and I'll probably get more emotional than I want to at the moment.  Bottom line, I think maybe it's time to take some small steps toward some kind of self-love practice, a daily ritual, routine, or something that focuses my energy a little bit more inwards rather than out.  Any ideas will be greatly appreciated!

What else...

Passover is coming up on the calendar, and all I want to do is teleport to sunny California to be with my family.  I feel quite disconnected from my family traditions of celebrating the Jewish holidays, and have yet to make my own traditions out here in Hawaii.  The thing I always loved about being a part of a big dinner celebration like the Passover Seder is the feeling of community and tradition.  I've got to find a way to re-connect with that feeling, and create it here in Hawaii for myself and Jo.  Maybe I just need to take it down a notch, and have a simple dinner to honor the tradition and not put so much pressure on myself to make it "perfect" or "just as I remembered as as kid".  A simple meal, some wine and matzoh should do the trick!

Ok, now I'm actually a little bit fired up about it, and I'm off to find the perfect Matzoh Ball Soup recipe.

Happy Thursday...


Weeks end review

Sunday evening blues...

I had the most wonderful and productive weekend in the studio. Clear visions turned into silver form, new ideas and old plans finally came together. All I want in the world, is to be able to spend all week in there, pounding away, forging ahead, and creating...

I'm planning and plotting and working toward making this dream a reality, maybe this time next year I'll be there. I've got a boat load if finishing touches to get to in the evenings after the other "work" this week. Hopefully I will be ready to share with you what I've been working on by Friday. In the mean time here are a few bits of randomness from this past week.