Thought for Thursday

Please bare with me as I brain dump a few topics, some serious, and others just random tidbits.

I'm feeling fragile today, like I may bust out in crocodile tears of angst at any moment.
I'm not sad, just unsettled.
I feel the love and support of my extended circle of homeys far and wide...and miss them terribly.  
I'm longing for some metalsmithing community, to have a day in the studio with someone else, to talk through things I'm having a hard time with, to explore new techniques, to share the beautiful and magical creative time with a kindred sister or mister.
I'm having a serious and terrible case of "The Wants" this week, from shoes to books, to adventures, to experiences...It's starting to have a negative effect on my mood, time to let it go and focus on something else, (though a little retail therapy sounds wonderful, it's just not going to happen right now).  
It seems as though it is always Friday, not in that the weekend is here, and there is cause for celebration, but more like "holy shit another week has come and gone and I'm still here doing the same stuff, feeling the same feelings, and never getting ahead".  I'm not sure what I'm trying to get ahead of, but whatever it is, I feel like I am behind it...Does that make sense?

This all sounds terribly depressing, which was not my intention...

Another topic has been swirling in my head, and it was so eloquently put by Betsy over at the Betsy and Iya blog.  I fear if I try too hard to explain where my head is at with this, that I will open up a flood of emotions/questions/thoughts/feelings, that I'm not quite prepared to elaborate on with too much detail here...mostly because I don't want to give any more fuel to it's fire, and I'll probably get more emotional than I want to at the moment.  Bottom line, I think maybe it's time to take some small steps toward some kind of self-love practice, a daily ritual, routine, or something that focuses my energy a little bit more inwards rather than out.  Any ideas will be greatly appreciated!

What else...

Passover is coming up on the calendar, and all I want to do is teleport to sunny California to be with my family.  I feel quite disconnected from my family traditions of celebrating the Jewish holidays, and have yet to make my own traditions out here in Hawaii.  The thing I always loved about being a part of a big dinner celebration like the Passover Seder is the feeling of community and tradition.  I've got to find a way to re-connect with that feeling, and create it here in Hawaii for myself and Jo.  Maybe I just need to take it down a notch, and have a simple dinner to honor the tradition and not put so much pressure on myself to make it "perfect" or "just as I remembered as as kid".  A simple meal, some wine and matzoh should do the trick!

Ok, now I'm actually a little bit fired up about it, and I'm off to find the perfect Matzoh Ball Soup recipe.

Happy Thursday...


  1. love and light to you.

    lately, i'm catholic and jewish and celtic and all things good and spiritual rolled into one. may all you wish for come true.


    1. Sounds good to me! Thanks for your sisterhood my friend, its so wonderful to have you "here" :)

  2. I was happy to pop over here this morning and find you. I can imagine that desire for some metal-smithing peeps and it makes me admire even more that you continue to forge ahead with your beautiful work even though on your own. And, oh, I have had the wants lately too and kicking myself a little when I indulge. Because what I really need to do is save money for new plumbing in the upstairs bathroom.
    And I've been eyeing this http://www.lizlamoreux.com/water-your-soul-being-seen/
    as a self-care ritual. I send you over there not necessarily for the class but Liz writes a lot on her blog about self-care and things like self-portraits and mirror meditation. Maybe something there will spark an idea for you to incorporate in your own life. I am waiting for spring weather to arrive (it's coming, I can feel it, even though the ground was frozen yesterday when Casey and I went on our walk) so that I can sit on my porch swing and just be. It's one of my favorite self-care practices.

    1. Beth!!!! Thank you so much you beautiful woman! Any and all ideas and suggestions are so appreciated, I'll take the time to look into this goodness after work today...Porch swinging with the doggie friend sound marvelous, I hope it thaws out for you soon!